"I’ve said a thousand times, I’m not here to pick my nose"

From dwarf-throwing to nose-picking, IAN COLE covers a rough week in sport and the sports media through quotes

“I don’t know why you ask these questions. You’re just looking for stupid little things” Sir Alex Ferguson, Manchester United manager, bristles at Sky reporter Kelly Cates’ very reasonable question about why he chose Anders Lindegaard ahead of David De Gea for the Champions League game at Benfica.

“I’ve said a thousand times before, I’m not here to pick my nose” Lindegaard.

“We got the win, so you would think he would be happy, but obviously not. He was spewing in there. We thought we might at least get a smile out of him, but you know what he’s like. He was yelling and screaming” Shontayne Hape, who scored two tries in England’s 41-10 World Cup win over Georgia, on manager Martin Johnson.

“If we are happy with these standards we will go home early. I’m not downbeat, I am realistic and I am a bit annoyed” Martin Johnson, England manager, on that victory.

“As community sports facilities are non-profit facilities, it will be ludicrously easy for developers to prove an economic case for a new development over a grass playing pitch. This is a huge threat to sport as only one in five sports clubs owns its own facilities; the rest must use public space and hired facilities. The average surplus of a non-facility-owning sports club is just £385 per year, so clubs simply do not have enough financial resource to fight against developers” Tim Lamb, chief executive of the Sport and Recreation Alliance, in a letter to the Daily Telegraph, flags up the latest threat to grassroots sports facilities as a results of the Government’s developer-friendly planning proposals.

Johnson and press pack — Martin Johnson: clearly not under any media pressure whatsoever over his England rugby squad's off-duty activities

“There were some passionate words before the game from guys who weren’t even in the 22. There were some poignant moments, none more so than when Jerry Flannery handed out the jerseys. The words he spoke were inspirational” Brian O’Driscoll, Ireland World Cup captain, after the 15-6 victory over Australia.

“Rugby players drink beer. Shock, horror” Martin Johnson’s low key reaction to his England World Cup players being pictured in a New Zealand bar.

“I would never want an England team I am involved with to hide away from the public. We can’t be locked away in our rooms when we are not training” Lewis Moody.

“Imagine England’s footballers had descended on a bar during the World Cup finals and proceeded to drink heavily through the night while watching dwarfs being thrown around? Two things would happen. First, Shaun Wright-Phillips would be caught up in an evening of unfortunate misunderstandings. Second, the public reaction would be as ludicrously out of proportion as Bernie Ecclestone’s wedding portraits” Des Kelly in the Daily Mail questions differing attitudes between sports.

“We lose a game where we score five goals and that’s quite disappointing” Arsene Wenger after Arsenal scored two own goals in a 4-3 defeat at Blackburn.

“You cannot underestimate how big this game is tonight” Gareth Southgate on ITV.

“I want to be a prolific goalscorer and score a goal a game. I want to be the main man. One of my ambitions is to be top scorer in the Premier League one day, but I have not had a run of 15 to 20 games” Nicklas Bendtner, never short on confidence when he was at Arsenal, continues in the same vein now he is a Sunderland player.

“It’s not normal to run out and play on a football pitch in front of all those people. It’s not normal what I do. I’m not a normal person. People look at Saturday and say ‘He’s lost it again’. Far from it. I’m fully in control” Joey Barton can’t dodge controversy after another skirmish at Wolves.

“I’ve never been here before, not even on holiday. We used to go to Canvey Island every year” Harry Redknapp, Spurs manager and East End boy, arrives in Greece to play PAOK.

“If people aren’t hungry enough I don’t think they will keep up with this side. They will drop out or be dropped out” Andy Flower, England cricket coach, at the end of an unbeaten Test and one-day summer.

“My father was a great ambassador for club and country and even if I get to be half as good as he was it would be some achievement” Jonny Bairstow, the Cricket Writers’Club Young Player of the Year, son of the late Yorkshire and England wicketkeeper-batsman David, wins England’s final one-day international against India with a cavalier innings.

“Putting a Red Rose on is special. It’s about spirit and it’s fantastic” Peter Moores, Lancashire coach, leads the celebrations for the county’s first Championship title for 77 years.

“People used to say I was a lucky player and if you are going to have a heart attack anywhere, then the middle of a hospital is probably the place to have it” Chris Cowdrey, former Kent and England captain, is struck down after routine knee surgery.

“Don’t blame the bloody pitch. It’s not the pitch. It’s the fact they can’t play on it, that’s the problem. We’ve given them everything they wanted…contracts, salaries. But the performances have been a disgrace” Colin Graves, Yorkshire chairman, on the county’s relegation from Division One.

“I’m addicted to adrenalin sports now. I want to do a sky dive next, but I’m not sure if we’re allowed” Chris Ashton, England rugby wing, is enjoying the World Cup, with its bungee jumping and wild-water rafting.

“There is a revolution taking place in Russian rugby. Russians are taking to rugby like our bears to honey. It’s a sport that suits the Russian character” Alexander Zhukov, Russia’s deputy Prime Minister, before his country’s opening World Cup defeat to the United States.

UPCOMING SJA DATES