“Fun-loving Bubba…here to have fun and goof around”

Tears and tantrums but not a toddler in sight. From the feel-good Masters to sabotaging the Boat Race, a compilation of the week’s sports and media quotes

“I attack. I always attack. I want to hit the incredible shot. Who doesn’t? Fun-loving Bubba – just try to have fun and goof around” Bubba Watson, who clinched his Masters play-off victory in Augusta with an unbelievable hook out of the trees then celebrated by crying his eyes out.

Blubber Watson: Tears for cheers

“Congrats Bubba Watson. Fantastic creativity. Now how creative will the champions’ dinner be next year?” Tiger Woods tweets his congratulations.

“The cult of Bubba is upon us… he cried on his caddie, then his mother, then in the Butler Cabin where last year’s champion, Charl Schwartzel, helped him on with a garment that is going to clash with his pink-trimmed shirts and sun visor” Paul Hayward in The Telegraph.

“I’m not good enough, and today I know it. I’ve been trying for 13 years, and I don’t feel capable of winning. Maybe it’s something psychological. … I’m not good enough for the majors” Sergio Garcia shows the other side of the game.

“Augusta asserts an asphyxiating supervision over its television coverage… The obsession with control extends into the commentary box… and so, through its very Southern combination of authoritarianism and sensory titillation, television coverage of the Masters possesses a reverentially devotional quality. Commentators must walk the tightrope of satisfying the club without sounding like Billy Payne’s personal bitch” Jonathan Liew’s Telegraph sport on TV review questions the independence of coverage of the Masters.

“If you played with me 10 years ago, I give to you every day maybe one punch in your head. I don’t speak with him every day because otherwise I would need a psychologist!” Roberto Mancini on Manchester City’s maverick Mario Balotelli before the player’s red card against Arsenal.

“He is not a bad guy and a fantastic player but I’m very sorry for him as he continues to lose his talent and his quality. I don’t have any words for his behaviour” Mancini after Balotelli was sent off.

Pulling his hair out? Steve Kean

“Mario Balotelli is like Marmite. You either love him or hate him. Me? I’m in between” Joe Royle, in commentary for TalkSport.

“He’s placed his faith in him, Roberto Mancini, but it’s a circus and every time I’ve been to a circus there’s always been some clowns” Gary Neville’s commentary take on Mario Balotelli’s latest, and possibly final, sending off for Manchester City.

“Steve Kean will be tearing his hair out” Graham Taylor in radio commentary as relegation-threatened Blackburn lost to Liverpool 3-2. Really, Graham?

Gabby Logan: Sexism?

“For the past six months I’ve been speaking to some of the most powerful women in the game,’ said Logan (six months!). And sure enough there were some bland interviews with the few women who have fought their way on to football’s governing bodies. But mostly there was Karren Brady, West Ham’s vice chairman, who admittedly knows about being a woman in a man’s world as a former director of Sport Newspapers, publishers of such aids to gentlemen’s relaxation as Sport Babes and Sport Readers Wives” Martin Kelner, in The Guardian, deeply underwhelmed by the BBC documentary, Sexism in Football?

“I agree with this documentary. People should get ahead in life based purely on their talent and hard work. Special favour should be shown to no one. Well said Terry Yorath’s daughter” Reader comment on Kelner’s article on Guardian website.

“Negativity has been very much in the forefront recently, which is strange because we have lost one in 12. What happens is I look at the performance of every player and say to everyone… ‘you’re talking b******s’. I don’t listen to that drivel” Sam Allardyce, West Ham manager, hits back at the fans.

“I don’t find the shot difficult but, like I said when I first played it against New Zealand all those years back, I don’t think the batter should get penalised because I’m taking the biggest risk” Kevin Pietersen after he was warned for his switch-hit in Sri Lanka.

“Pietersen’s innings of 151 was a pyrotechnical masterpiece which put the second Test against Sri Lanka in England’s pocket” Stephen Brenkley, The Independent.

“It just takes, and is likely to be, one idiot… someone similar to the idiot yesterday who causes major disruption” Lord Moynihan, the BOA chairman, talking to the BBC about Olympic security fears after protester Trenton Oldfield stopped the Boat Race by swimming into the paths of the boats.

“When I missed your head with my blade I knew only that you were a swimmer, and if you say you are a protester then no matter what you say your cause may be, your action speaks too loudly for me to hear you. You, who would make a mockery of their dedication and their courage, are a mockery of a man” William Zeng, Boat Race crew member, on Twitter.

“This is ‘peaceful’ … I have no weapons (don’t shoot!) My only fear, is not swimming fast enough to get in the right position” Oldfield tries to justify his actions.

“The espionage out here has reached such farcical levels that our lot are filming their lot filming our lot” Jonathan McEvoy in the Daily Mail previews the cycling world championships in Australia.

London ahoy for knight rider Sir Chris

“I have no idea how I did it. With half a lap to go it was looking pretty bleak, but I knew they were fanning out and there was just a little chance. I went up the inside. The door opened and I just kept on sprinting…you never say die in bike racing” Sir Chris Hoy after winning the keirin world title.

“To be down to 13 men and not lose many points was an incredible effort from the boys who were still on the pitch. Mentally, that was a big thing for us” Allan Jacobsen, Edinburgh’s Scotland prop, after his side beat mighty Toulouse 19-12 to win a place in the Heineken Cup semi-finals.

“Today is the culmination of three years’ hard work. We have been emphasising the importance of getting Ulster up the ladder and getting to that top table. We are not there yet” Brian McLaughlin, Ulster’s head coach, after his side’s Heineken Cup upset win, 22-16 at Munster. Ulster will play Edinburgh in the semi-final at the end of the month.

“Bums on seats. That is what David Beckham brings to the party, apparently. He used to sell shirts. Now he brings bums. Not informed bums, necessarily. But bums, nonetheless. Even his staunchest loyalists no longer argue Beckham deserves a place on merit. He was a great player. He isn’t any more. Bums are Beckham’s bag these days” Martin Samuel in his Daily Mail column is dismissive of the prospect of the LA Galaxy midfielder being in the Great Britain squad for the London Games.

“A reminder that any goals scored in extra time will count” Jon Champion explains the rules for ESPN viewers.


Mon Apr 16: SJA Spring Golf Day, Surbiton GC. Click here for booking details.

Thu Apr 19: SJA Annual General Meeting, Fleet Street, 12.30pm. Click here for details.

Thu May 10: SJA Ladbrokes Lunch with former England cricket captain Alec Stewart. Click here for booking details.

Mon Sep 24: SJA Autumn Golf Day, Muswell Hill GC. Booking details from Paul Trow at