Net gains for the ladies

Former Telegraph man MICHAEL HEAL was inspired to poetry by this year’s Wimbledon

I’m far from a chauvinist per se
But think that in matters of pay,
That girls wielding rackets, earning equal pay packets
Are ahead at the end of the day

The men must serve up a match of five sets
The ladies get by in just three
And, for much of the time, though their skill is sublime
The contests lack drama, you see.

I’ve no axe to grind against ladies in sport
They deserve the recognition that’s due
But, in tennis, it’s plain, they don’t play the same game,
And the rewards are somewhat askew.

If prize money reflected the decibel count
The ladies deserve more than men
But great matches are rare, the cupboard is bare
Come back lovely Justine Henin

Is it no wonder, with so few in their class,
The sisters so rarely compete
To be ranked World No.1, is no longer much fun
‘Cause they know the position’s effete

So, when there’s a Grand Slam, it’s not just singles they play
And, by joining forces, they can double their pay.
The ladies should be grateful for past battles won
And praise Billy Jean for all that she’s done.

The men entertain, with one single goal
Their matches intense, and the mighty could fall.
But it’s not quite the same when the ladies clash,
And, believe it or not, they can take home more cash.

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