“I’ve had a lot of texts saying I must be mad”

The past week’s sport and journalism, in quotes, featuring England’s Adelaide Test match win, Lee Westwood and Colin Monrgomerie, Jessica Ennis and AP McCoy, and the football mad Carlos Tevez and Alan Pardew

Football mad: Alan Pardew

“I’ve had a lot of texts from other managers saying I must be mad coming here” Alan Pardew takes over as Newcastle United manager.

“I always try to remember what it was like when I was starting out – I only get invited to lunches like this because I win races, and you don’t win races by sitting down to lunches like this” AP McCoy, the SJA’s 2010 Sportsman of the Year.

“The Sunday Times and Panorama did the job of a free press and those who criticised them, including some politicians who really ought to know better and a handful of journalists unworthy of the description, should be ashamed of themselves” Sir Michael Parkinson speaking about FIFA investigations at the SJA’s British Sports Awards.

“I would say they should refrain from any sexual activities” Sepp Blatter maintains FIFA’s stance on equality matters when asked how gays will deal with Qatar’s laws against homosexuality.

“Before we get under way, could I make a special appeal to that small section of our fans who seem to get perverse pleasure from taunting Arsene Wenger with crude chants? He deserves better, much better” Sir Alex Ferguson‘s programme notes for last night’s Manchester United v Arsenal match. Sadly ignored by not such a small section of the Old Trafford crowd.

“Amir Khan proved not only that he has a good chin but that he’s the best 140 pounder in the world, no doubt about it” Oscar De La Hoya after Amir Khan’s brutal battle in Las Vegas at the weekend.

“On the train heading down to London for the Sports Journo Awards. Too cold to be wearing a dress! Thank god for tights!” @J_Ennis, Sportswoman of the Year, on the glamour of the annual sports awards circuit.

Kevin Pietersen: back in form

“There was a bit of a swagger about him. It’s great for us when he is on song: he dominates bowling attacks and not many can do that” Andrew Strauss pays tribute to Kevin Pietersen, after his 227 helped seal Ashes victory for England in Adelaide.

“We got off to a shambolic start” Ricky Ponting, the Australia captain, bemoans his side losing three wickets for two runs at the beginning of the Adelaide Test.

“I’ve been amused by it. I’m sure he could still land a few but I don’t know that that’s going to take Australian cricket forward and I don’t know that Shane’s necessarily done the preparation required” Greg Chappell on the possible Test comeback by Shane Warne.

“I am enjoying the experience and I’m learning a hell of a lot. I owe a lot to these guys” Jonny Wilkinson commits himself to Toulon and thus puts his England future in doubt under new RFU rules calling for English-based players from 2011.

“This decision is not about money. I have made that clear to both the board and the management on several occasions. I hugely resent the management’s suggestions that I have been unduly influenced by others. I am disappointed that the management should now see fit to try to portray the situation in another light” Carlos Tevez, Manchester City’s wantaway striker-captain-talisman.

“In Sainsbury’s. Looking for mashed potatoes and rubber gloves – Marigolds, small size” Lee Westwood on what he was doing when he found out he was the world’s No1 golfer.

“She made mistake after mistake after mistake” Michael Johnson on serial drug cheat Marion Jones.

“Logan seemed to pass judgement as freely as Jones used to pass water during her 160-odd drugs tests. She kept interrupting her subject as if she wasn’t really listening, in fact didn’t want to hear it” Andrew Tong‘s Independent review of Gabby Logan’s interview of Jones on BBC’s Inside Sport.

“I might be here representing a marvellous team, but we know ourselves that the team here with us are the reason we are here in the first place” Colin Montgomerie, captain of SJA Team of the Year, Europe’s Ryder Cup winners, pays tribute to the armed forces veterans attending the SJA British Sports Awards.

“Thanks for all the kind messages. Obviously gutted” @StuartBroad8 on Twitter, on having to leave the Ashes tour with a torn stomach – gut – muscle.

“He’ll be hurting deep down” Phil de Freitas, a former England bowler, opts for sportspeak to explain Stuart Broad’s emotions and states the medical obvious.

“He’ll be big boots to fill. Literally, because he’s got enormous feet” Graeme Swann on Broad.

“Nothing’s black or white in our country – you’re either brilliant or you’re hopeless” Alan Shearer‘s expertise on Radio 5.

“I’m going to put the cat amongst the feathers” Stan Collymore on TalkSport.

“I am beginning to feel about football betting the way the American gag merchant Henny Youngman felt about Las Vegas:  ‘I’ll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas,’ said Henny. ‘When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller'” Martin Kelner, in The Guardian.

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