“I’d rather wipe my backside with a broken bottle”

Russian cage fighters, the Isle of Man TT, a smashing time at Lord’s, Rio Ferdinand’s missed drugs test, job losses at Trinity Mirror and Wayne Rooney’s hair transplant. All sporting life is here in a week’s sport and journalism quotes from IAN COLE

The best of mates: F1 champions Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton

“What Hamilton did goes beyond all boundaries. He is completely mad. If the FIA does not punish him I do not understand the world any more. You cannot drive like this. It will result in someone getting killed” Niki Lauda, three times world champion, leads the criticism of Lewis Hamilton’s overtaking in the rain at the Canadian Grand Prix.

“Fighting your way through the field is almost as good as winning the race. It’s a pretty exceptional result and, to fight my way through from last position, definitely my best race” Jenson Button, who survived a scrape with Hamilton to win in Montreal.

“There were 10 guys there and they delved into this very deeply and all of us considered it would be best if the Union and John parted company. It is not my intention to dismantle what John has done” Martyn Thomas, the RFU chairman, as John Steele’s nine-month tenure as chief executive at Twickenham ends with the sack.

“Every time I looked up at the pavilion during Sri Lanka’s second innings, I saw this big broken window and I felt stupid more than anything else… There wasn’t any malice or anger in it at all” Matt Prior, England wicketkeepr and Lord’s dressing room window-breaker.

Prior's engagement: the window in the Lord's Pavilion

“The dressing room is exactly the right place to take out your frustrations. We’ve all done it. It shows Prior cares – and that’s what I want to see from England’s cricketers” Nasser Hussain, former England captain.

“It’s about time some discipline was instilled in this game – and I am not a person who gets pushed about. We spent £40 million, supported him all the way, and what we get is relegation and a snub. We bought him three players of his choice – then I get an email while I’m away on business.  I think that speaks volumes” Peter Pannu, Birmingham City’s acting chairman, after manager Alex McLeish resigns.

“FIFA’s reputation is now at an all-time low and obviously the election with just one candidate was something of a farce – but it has to become more transparent and more accountable” David Cameron.

“In my amateur way, I am an expert at football. I’m happy to have been asked to be involved and have requested more details to see if I can help” Placido Domingo, famous for singing at the 1990 World Cup, is wanted by Sepp Blatter as a FIFA ethics advisor.

“I think the beautiful game of many, many years ago is long gone. Look at the trophy cabinet, it never lies. Look at ours and look at Spain’s” Stuart Pearce, ever the realist, leads England’s bright young things into the European Under-21 championships.

“Dave’s a bit scary. He hasn’t put me in a cage yet but he keeps getting me in headlocks – and that’s not nice. I don’t give him too much backchat” James Ward has employed a Russian cage fighter as his fitness coach and reaches the semi-finals at Queen’s.

“David Haye the person pisses me off. But, I admit it, I’m having flamingos – not just butterflies – in my stomach about facing David Haye the boxer” Wladimir Klitschko with a rare touch of honesty ahead of the July 2 heavyweight title unification fight between the two.

Hairy moment: Wayne Rooney after his hair transplant op

“I was going bald at 25, why not?” Wayne Rooney on the reasons for his hair transplant.

“I have no especial brief for Trinity Mirror… but its willingness to continue publishing the Record and Mail could be viewed as an act of charity. In a sense, the publisher is running a sort of social welfare service for journalists. Its board knows, though it cannot admit it, that there is no real future for the Record and MailRoy Greenslade, a former Mirror editor, after management announced 90 job cuts at the Glasgow-based tabloids.

“You know the modern-day player – they’re a little bit milky” Pearce when asked whether Connor Wickham had been badly injured when he rolled his ankle during England U21 training.

“I’d rather wipe my backside with a broken bottle than do that again” John McGuinness wasn’t too happy about the conditions during the Isle of Man TT on Thursday.

“You fat prick… You’re a cock” Rio Ferdinand offers his reasoned view of his 2003 missed drug test with Mirror columnist Oliver Holt.

“He’s just a dirty dog. He has no morals. It was one thing having an affair with Imogen, but this is said to be with his brother’s wife, for God’s sake. I could almost understand if it was someone else, another footballer’s wife – then so what? But not with his own sister-in-law. And it went on for such a long time. It is horrendous” Joanna Wilson, Ryan Giggs’ aunt.

“I haven’t spoken with Alex Ferguson. He has told me nothing. He never tells me anything”  Tomasz Kuszczak, who presumes he remains as Manchester United’s second-choice keeper.


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