“I told him it’s an interesting way to end a Test career”

Genius goal: Wayne Rooney in action

IAN COLE’s weekly round-up of sport in quotes includes plenty of spectacular goals and tries, Keys and Gray’s radio debut, and Mickey Rourke’s challenge to portray a homosexual Welsh rugby league player

“I just saw the ball coming into the box and thought ‘Why not?’ So I tried it and it went in the top corner. Nine times out of 10 they end up in the stand” Wayne Rooney, on his winner for Manchester United against City.

“Pele did it in Escape to VictoryMike Summerbee, Pele’s erstwhile movie co-star, on the Rooney goal that won the Manchester derby.

“There is a price to pay for us players. I think I pay a big price with my body, my time and with never being able to have privacy when I am out. The biggest thing I miss because of football is that I really, really love to go skiing but as long as I have my career I can’t because of the risk of being injured” Nicklas Bendtner asks for sympathy for his lot as a Premier League footballer.

“I’ve suggested to Tottenham they keep all the cuttings about West Ham’s promises in an archive and bring them out in four years. I wish them luck – but it ain’t gonna work” Lord Sugar after West Ham win the Olympic Stadium bid.

“Alan Sugar isn’t always right you know. Anyone had an Amstrad computer?” David Sullivan, the West Ham co-chairman.

“Among the ‘ideas’ floated on Parry’s morning show was the notion that racehorses should be fitted with wing mirrors to avoid collisions, that shops should sell individual shoes for people with one leg, and that someone would one day run the 100 metres in one second” Martin Kelner compares radio presenter Mike Parry with his replacements on TalkSport, Richard Keys and Andy Gray.

“We will both be thinking of his mother and feeling that she will be sharing the moment with us. I’m sure Frank will raise the armband to the heavens in her memory” Frank Lampard Senior sees his son, Chelsea midfielder Frank, captain England for the first time.

“There are leaders in the team and John is one of those. He remains a great captain, whether he has the armband or not” Frank Lampard Junior, substituted at half-time, saw England go to extreme lengths to avoid passing the armband to John Terry.

Flying high: England wing Chris Ashton

“In a funny way I’m glad it happened because we can look at this and make sure it doesn’t happen the next time” Gary Speed loses 3-0 to Republic of Ireland in his first match as Wales manager.

“I took a lot of stick but that is how I run with the ball anyway, so I’d like to think I have control of it. We even had coaching tips about diving over the tryline. I think it was all right because I scored, but if I had dropped it I would have been in a whole world of pain” Chris Ashton, scorer of four tries in the Six Nations match against Italy, defends his “swallow dive” celebration.

“When he does it you have to appease the opposition for as long as possible. Gonzalo Canale was getting very angry, saying he is an idiot. He’s scored four tries so he can do what he wants” Toby Flood, Ashton’s England team mate.

“I told him it was an interesting way to end your Test career, but I think he knew I was joking. I’ve already had a word with him and I’ll see him again on Tuesday” Martin Johnson, the England coach.

“I’ve got to get my ass in shape. I’m going to be as fit as a fiddle. I’m not going to disrespect Rugby League” Mickey Rourke, the Oscar-winning actor, who met Gareth Thomas at the Millennium Stadium in preparation for starring in a film about the Welsh player.

“He started kicking out as though he’d lost control of his limbs and fell straight down. I loved the horse and it was horrible to hear his distress. I think he was dead within seconds” Nick Scholfield, whose mount, Marching Song, was one of two horses electrocuted in the parade ring at Newbury on Saturday.