The best football headline – ever?

There really is just one outstanding candidate for the best ever football headline, although The Guardian reckons that “Super Cally go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious” has, like a Jimmy Tarbuck joke, enjoyed at least three incarnations.

The feature, posted on the newspaper’s website yesterday, offers several other candidates for the accolade of the best ever football headline. But some of them are, well, just plain weak. And we know of several stalwarts of the Guardian and Observer‘s own sports desks over the last two decades who have penned much better.

We here at the SJA reckon that you, too, will know better football headlines.

So, by way of’s festive competition, there’s a bottle of 12-year-old malt (or equivalent value prize in the event of a journalist claiming not to drink) on offer to the winning posting in the comment section below, which offers the best headline, some contextual reference and the name and (approximate) date of publication. Please include a contact email address in your posting so that we can contact you if necessary.

A premium will be put on entries that offer originality, a lack of cliche and that are brim-full of sheer wit.

Usual SJA website competition terms and conditions apply – in that, the website editor’s decision is final, and as he’s putting up the prize, if you don’t like it, tough. The competition is open only to fully paid-up members of the SJA (so if your 2008 subs haven’t been paid yet, you’d better get in touch with membership secretary Bill Colwill pdq). This also means that, by definition, you’ll be over 18, so that there’s no risk of the SJA being accused of offering hooch to under-age drinkers.

And as all the ads these days seem to suggest, please ride your bicycle responsibly (copyright Bacardi, 2008).

The winning entry will be announced in the week between Christmas and New Year.

More sports journalism links

VOTE NOW for your Sports Broadcaster and Sports Programme of 2008. SJA members should click here for a prompt list and information on voting