The England football team’s war of words, Wayne Rooney’s barb at the fans, Graeme McDowell’s US Open win, Serena Williams, Andy Murray and Tim Henman on Wimbledon, and Andy Ripley’s self-penned epitaph, all in the weekly round-up of sports quotes by IAN COLE
“A few of us will have our say with the manager at a team meeting this evening. If it upsets him, I’m on the verge of saying ‘So what? I’m here to win it for England’. I was born to do stuff like this. I’m here to speak for the rest of the squad” John Terry‘s comments at the official England team press conference on Sunday.
“If the press… if the media want people to come and speak honestly, then you have to report it honestly as well” Frank Lampard on how a discussion of the Algeria game among a group of England players became a “gang of nine rebels”.
“When you speak you have to speak privately. This is the big mistake – a very big mistake. It’s not revolution. It’s the mistake of another player – no more. My door is open… always” Fabio Capello, the England manager, annoyed by the critical comments made by former captain John Terry at a press conference organised by… the FA.
“It’s nice to see yer home fans booing ya. That’s what loyal support is ” for fuck’s sake” Wayne Rooney, who has not yet scored a goal for England at the World Cup finals in South Africa.
“I’m Pavlos and I actually need the toilet” Pavlos Joseph, England’s “dressing room intruder”, to David Beckham after walking in on the squad’s showers.
“The guys were fairly upset about how they played, but by the time we finished there were laughs and jokes. Harry and I acted like idiots” Prince William, President of the FA, and brother Prince Harry, a pair of jokers who were allowed in to the England dressing room.
“I don’t think I’ve put the trophy down since they gave it to me. It’s a pretty surreal feeling. This is life-changing stuff for me, it really is. I’m still extremely emotional. Major championships and Ryder Cups are things that will define my career from now on” Graeme McDowell, above, on becoming the first European to win the US Open golf championship since Tony Jacklin in 1970.
“Dare we hope? We dare. Can we hope? We can. Should we hope? We must, because to do otherwise is to waste the most precious of gifts, given so freely by God to all of us. So when we do die, it will be with hope and it will be easy and our hearts will not be broken” Andy Ripley, RIP.
“I ‘ope that from a big mistake can come a big performance” Capello on Terry.
“The problem isn’t Anelka, it is the traitor among us, you have to say it. How can this come out?” Patrice Evra reveals how the French are in total disarray after the sending home of Nicolas Anelka and leaks to the press by the squad’s fitness coach.
“I’m fully aware
that there are people in the country who don’t like me and people who do. That’s just the way it works, but it doesn’t affect what I did on the court” Andy Murray gets ready for Wimbledon fortnight.
“The other day I had to think ‘Did I win last year or did Venus?’ Practising with Venus every day, it gets confusing” Serena Williams (or is that Venus?) makes light of the American sisters’ domination of the women’s game.
“When are our players going to accept more responsibility for themselves? You’re always hearing complaints about lack of funding, demanding a new coach, or their parents complaining about something. Ultimately, it comes down to the player” Tim Henman
“I haven’t been worrying about my record or my job but about English rugby and showing that we can play a bit. It’s pretty special to win down here” Martin Johnson after England’s 21-20 victory over Australia in Sydney.
“I’m not a record-muncher. I average 50 in Test cricket, probably because of the way I play. People say I could average 60 or 65. Well I don’t and maybe I’ll never be that player, but I’m going to have fun trying my way” Kevin Pietersen defends his batting style.
“The level of punditry is cringe-making. It’s lowest common denominator stuff. Patronising and insulting, much of it. Emmanuel Adebayor’s mobile phone started ringing in his pocket live on air the other day. His respect for the viewers didn’t even amount to him making sure the thing was switched off.
“Edgar Davids has been unintelligible, Gareth Southgate hasn’t said one interesting thing, Kevin Keegan has been nothing more than a cheerleader for England and Andy Townsend has been his usual bland self, trotting out statements of the obvious with a rapid-fire gusto. ‘I tell you what, for me, he’s gotta hit the target from there!’
“And you are paid how much, Andy?” Tom English, in The Scotsman, unhappy with TV’s coverage of the World Cup
“That was pretty awful” Adrian Chiles, presumably commenting on the England v Algeria game rather than any aspect of ITV’s coverage.
“Pele? He should go go back to the museum. Platini? He is French. We all know how the French are. He believes he is better than the rest” Diego Maradona.
“If my information is correct, Corden’s fee per show is equivalent to the annual salary of a teacher in an inner-city comprehensive school, which must make him the most reviled big-money signing since Brian Clough went to Leeds United…
“Where Fantasy Football flew Mario Kempes over from Argentina to recreate his 1978 World Cup final goal, World Cup Live got Corden’s mum in to re-enact a goal. The budget has all gone on the celebrity presenter, which may be the most eloquent comment on the current state of TV you will find” Martin Kelner in his weekly Screen Break column in the Guardian, underwhelmed by ITV’s laddish James Corden World Cup “show”.
“It’s true what they say. When people ask ‘What is the best part of the day?’ I can confirm it is waking up every morning” Barry Hills, at 73 and after 18 months out of racing through illness, saddles Equiano to win the King’s Stand Stakes, his 24th Royal Ascot winner.
“I don’t remember Borzakovsky front-running a race before, although I know he has done one or two times in the past” Paul Dickinson, hammer thrower-turned-BBC commentator, finds his memory playing tricks on him at the European Cup athletics.
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