“I don’t want to use the word, but it was embarrassing”

IAN COLE’s quotes of the week covers Test cricket, long-distance swimming, Joey Barton, Roy Hodgson, Wales’s defeat of England in rugby, the riots, and Joey Barton

“We want to dominate Test cricket for as long as possible. This is a great feeling and we want more of it” Jimmy Anderson, England bowling hero, as a third Test victory over India lifts Andrew Strauss’s side to No1 in the world.

No1 in the world: Jimmy Anderson's wickets have helped England to the Test top spot

“England are very impressive. There is no weak link. Variety in bowling and batters in form. England deserve to be No1. Nice to watch them” Shane Warne, less consistent as a TV pundit than he was as a Test bowler: 24 hours previously he’d said England “bore me shitless”.

“Sometimes in Test cricket you just have to grind it out. It’s amazing, when you go so close to a milestone you can feel let down. If you offered that innings to me at the beginning of the game I’d have snapped your hand off” Alastair Cook, disappointed to be dismissed six runs short of 300.

“England deserve to be No.1. Trying to sustain that ranking is far more difficult” Gautam Gambhir, India opener.

Why me? Joey Barton attracted attention again at the weekend

“I did go down easily but it’s not OK to hit me because it’s me. I have been hit harder in school. It does not make what he did right or wrong” Joey Barton rings up 606 to defend his scrap with Gervinho which led to the Arsenal man being sent off.
“For a man who appears to have gone into the barbers with a picture of Hitler and said ‘this please, but without the moustache’ to even think of scoring tonsorial points shows a lack of self-knowledge that is staggering even for Barton” Martin Kelner on Twitter, criticisms of Alan Shearer’s hairstyle and Newcastle’s unloved midfielder in The Guardian.
“The England job is not something I go around thinking about. I’m perfectly happy working as a club coach in the Premier League. If the day arrives when I do get invited to talk to the FA, I will see what happens then” Roy Hodgson, who clearly has no ambitions whatsoever to become England manager.

“This happens in Brazil, but we never believed it would be possible in England. There’s fear in the squad. We have been told to stay home and avoid the streets” Heurelho Gomes, Spurs goalkeeper, as the aftermath of the street riots causes the postponement of Spurs’ opening match.

“Just as Beijing was meant to usher in the Chinese century so the London Games have bobbed along on a tide of rhetoric about diversity and inclusiveness. These claims are now shot to bits. London has been exposed to the world as a city in which a greedy and corrupt political and economic elite consign an underclass to urban dumping grounds and dismantle the welfare state built from the ruins of war when the Olympics last came to town, in 1948” Paul Hayward on the impact the London riots ought to have on the London Olympics.

“It was interesting there was no criticism of Joe Hart. It was exactly the same type of goal – and he’s your bloody national goalkeeper. The second was more of a technical mistake in terms of his feet. We didn’t expect it – and he won’t be doing that again” Sir Alex Ferguson on £19 million keeper David De Gea, who repeated his Community Shield gaffe against West Brom.

“It’s out of this world. We had to deal with Stoke’s set plays and we did that competently, but there’s a limit to the pushing and shoving that makes it impossible for refs” Andre Villas Boas, Chelsea’s latest new manager, discovering it can be grim up north. Well, in Stoke.

“I call it my Jerry Maguire moment. He said that with all my ability I was wasting my career. He made me feel really small, like I’d achieved nothing. And he was right. It all happened in my front room – in front of my wife – for about two hours. It was really harsh” Jay Bothroyd, 28, gets a fresh start with Premier League new boys QPR, but thanks his agent, Sky Andrew, for telling him the facts of football life.

“If I was going to be offered the England job I would hope it would be with the backing of the important people. That would be people like the media, who represent the fans, and the fans themselves. Otherwise, it’s a very difficult job. The perception of my Liverpool appointment was not right. As a result, I ended up paying for it” Hodgson, for whom the England job is something very far from his thoughts.

“It was a dangerous shot and one, with hindsight, I shouldn’t have taken on. I jarred my wrist and forearm and it was very painful. There were times I thought I couldn’t carry on, but this is the final major of the year and it’s seven months until the Masters, so I thought it worth the risk” Rory McIlroy plays on with injury in the US PGA.

“I’m trying to be positive but I’m angry. I had something really good going and I threw it away. I’ll have to go to the gym and punish myself to get it out of my system” Luke Donald, world No1, sees another major go by without his name on the trophy.

“Four years ago I was drunk and a lot heavier. I was enjoying my retired life. I was happy drinking, I wasn’t depressed. I’d fallen out of love with rugby. When you’re there battering yourself and your heart is not in it, it’s a hard game. Now I’ve got the fire back in my belly” Steve Thompson, England hooker, in line for a World Cup call having retired after the last one.

Balletic start: women start the 10km swim in Hyde Park's Serpentine on Saturday

“I don’t want to use the word embarrassing. But it was embarrassing” Toby Flood, England fly half, after the embarrassing 19-9 defeat against Wales.

“I know I’m retiring at a relatively early age but, having been committed to tennis for a long time, I feel ready to explore different avenues of my life” Katie O’Brien, former British No1, quits at 25.

“I thought I was in Swan Lake. I saw all these swans, so I gave them a lot of space” Eva Fabian, American  swimmer, samples the hazards of the Serpentine in the Olympic open water trial event.


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