‘Everyone in football knows what JT’s like’

As well as the latest chapter in the John Terry-Wayne Bridge saga, IAN COLE’s latest weekly round-up of sports quotes also features Carl Lewis, David Millar, Wayne Rooney, Sachin Tendulkar, Robert Mugabe and Chairman Mao

“Sadly, for the sake of the team and in order to avoid inevitable distractions, I have decided not to put myself forward for selection. I wish the team all the very best in South Africa” Wayne Bridge tells England manager Fabio Capello he cannot share a dressing room with John Terry.

“You guys make more of it than we do. I know what JT’s like. Nothing about him surprises me. Everyone in football knows what he’s like. That’s off the field” Craig Bellamy when asked on television about the situation between John Terry and Wayne Bridge, after he scored twice in Manchester City’s 4-2 win at Chelsea.

“Never has so much attention been given to one handshake since Richard Nixon met Chairman Mao” Jonathan Pearce, in his BBC commentary, shows that the art of overstatement is not dead yet.

“My name is Odd-Bjørn Hjelmeset. I skied the second lap and I fucked up today. I think I have seen too much porn in the last 14 days. I have the room next to Petter Northug and every day there is noise in there. So I think that is the reason I fucked up. By the way, Tiger Woods is a really good man” Odd-Bjørn Hjelmeset, a silver medal-winner for Norway in a cross-country relay at the Vancouver Games, proving that Olympic quotes need not always be banal.

“We have now lost three players to horrendous tackles in three years and I don’t believe in coincidences when you are hit as many times as we are” Arsene Wenger, the Arsenal manager, is caught up in the emotional aftermath of Aaron Ramsey’s horrendous broken leg at Stoke.

“He’s a model for managers all around the world. I’m sure Barcelona are thinking about copying his style” Rafa Benitez on Blackburn coach Sam Allardyce.

“I did what any scrum-half would have done. If the Scotland scrum-half keeps hold of the ball and prevents me getting it in a fortnight’s time I’d do the same again” Danny Care tries to explain away what the England coach Martin Johnson described as “a silly penalty to gift Ireland a try”. Ireland won 20-16.(Ed’s note: Only if you’re not dropped, Danny).

“This looks like some deal between me and Robert Mugabe and FIFA. Do you think the people at FIFA have contact with politics in Zimbabwe? Would Sepp Blatter talk to Robert Mugabe and say who should we give the contract to?” Philip Chiyangwa, a former Zanu-PF politician and nephew of the infamous Zimbabwean president, who The Guardian discovered has been awarded the contract to sell World Cup packages of hotel rooms and match tickets.

“If things have to be done in order for me to stay in the team, then so be it. The importance of Portsmouth outweighs the importance of any individual. I am happy to stay here and if I need to sit down and talk to the administrator then that’s what I’ll do” David James, caught up in Portsmouth’s roller-coaster week of administration followed by victory at Burnley, accepts he may have to take a pay cut.

“We have health care! We have health care!” Canadian fans chanting at their American counterparts between periods of the Olympic ice hockey final in Vancouver. Canada won gold 3-2 in over-time.

“I described him as King Midas because everything he touches turns to gold. In his present form, any opportunity he gets seems to end up as a goal” Gianfranco Zola, the West Ham manager, after his side was beaten 3-0 at Old Trafford, on Wayne Rooney’s run of 19 goals in 19 games.

“Tower Hamlets School against Shoreditch Boys Grammar – that is the only football that will be played there, played in front 25,000 empty seats” Barry Hearn, snooker and darts promoter as well as chairman of Leyton Orient, dismisses a football future for London’s Olympic Stadium.

“Is one gold medal good enough?” Steve Cram, BBC anchor man on Britain’s performance in Vancouver, to his expert panellists. “I’m the wrong person to ask…” Matthew Pinsent.

“I thought, I thought, I thought and I thought. I was fighting myself. On one side I wanted it, on one side I knew it was not the job for me. Not for my mentality, my passion for football, for training every day” Jose Mourinho claims he could have become England manager in the summer of 2006 in succession to Sven-Goran Eriksson.

“I know what people call me and they also say I’m a powder puff puncher. There’s a difference between the perception and the reality and I’ll prove in this fight that I still have the will, determination and heart” Audley Harrison, former Olympic heavyweight boxing champion, says we’ll see a new man against Poland’s Albert Sasanowski.

“I think world No5 stands for more than how I dress. Yes, I iron my clothes before every round because I want to look good. But this shows I can perform as well” Ian Poulter after a rankings, and bank balance-boosting, win in the Accenture matchplay championship in Arizona.

“The easy bit is doing it. Anybody can dope. It’s hard not doing it. That’s the truth of the matter. It’s easy being bad. It’s the dark side” David Millar, former British cycling champion who was banned for two years for drug taking, in an interview from a UK Anti-Doping video.

“A few of the lads were going to get off and have a go. I thought I was outside a local boozer at 1 in the morning , not at a football ground” Brian Howard and his Reading team mates alleged their coach was attacked by West Brom stewards after their FA Cup win at The Hawthorns.

“I remember playing against him on my first tour of India in 1989. I can still see that excited boy in large pads. He has been playing international cricket for 20 years under the intense scrutiny of being an Indian superstar, so it is remarkable he still loves holding a bat as much as ever” Nasser Hussain applauds as Sachin Tendulkar, 36, becomes the first man to score a double century in a one-day international.

“I wanted to get a bar of chocolate and a sandwich. I knew I could get that from the service station two-and-a-half miles down the motorway from the team hotel. At 5 in the morning, and golf buggies sitting outside, that seemed the best option” Andy Powell, the Wales flanker , is sacked from the Six Nations squad and faces a drink-driving charge after over-celebrating the win over Scotland.

“I love curling” Carl Lewis, the nine-time Olympic gold medallist visiting Vancouver.

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