NORMAN GILLER has picked out 50 memorable quotes that made it on to the sports pages from the last 10 years. Can you identify who said what? The par score for this tricky course is 40 points
2000
1. “There’s no disputing that I’m the undisputed champion”
a) Evander Holyfield; b) Lennox Lewis; c) Mike Tyson
2. “David Beckham cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn’t score many goals. Apart from that he’s all right.”
a) George Best; b) Jimmy Greaves; c) Rodney Marsh
3. “They have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don’t realise what’s going on out on the pitch. I don’t think some of the people who come to Old Trafford can spell football, never mind understand it.”
a) Dwight Yorke; b) Roy Keane; c) Gary Neville
4. “There is nothing going to stop me in the Sydney Olympics … except me.”
a) Steve Redgrave; b) Kathy Freeman; c) Marion Jones
5. “When Matthew went 13-6 in the lead I thought he was going to run away with it. But I held my nerve and am so proud to be the first left hander to win the world title.”
a) Jimmy White; b) Shaun Murphy; c) Mark Williams
2001
6. “If some angel comes to me in my sleep and says ‘You are going to win Wimbledon but you are not able to touch the racket ever again in your life’, I would say OK I will never play tennis again.”
a) Tim Henman; b) Goran Ivanisevic; c) Pete Sampras7. “This was my first loss and I take it like a champion. It doesn’t mean much to me if I’m behind or not in a fight, the fact is that I hold these guns in my right and left hands.”
a) Naseem Hamed; b) Chris Eubank; c) Johnny Nelson8. “I never got it out of my head all the way round. I kept thinking, ‘A two-shot penalty for having one club too many.’ I could have been leading, but this just destroyed my concentration.”
a) Paul McGinley; b) Darren Clarke; c) Ian Woosnam9. “The Russians said we were out of order with our anti-drugs protest and that we should not be doing it. But they are the ones who are out of order. You have to stand up for what you believe in.”
a) Denise Lewis; b) Paula Radcliffe; c) Katharine Merry10. “A hat-trick against Germany in Germany! It doesn’t get much better than this.”
a) Andy Cole; b) Robbie Fowler; c) Michael Owen
2002
11. “Praise the players not me. I just led them to the water and they drank copiously.”
a) Sam Torrance; b) Bernard Gallacher; c) Mark James
12. “I’m sure sex wouldn’t be as rewarding as winning the World Cup. It’s not that sex isn’t good but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not.”
a) Zinedine Zidane; b) David Beckham; c) Ronaldo
13. “Roy Keane is a tough character, but I wouldn’t mention him in the same breath as people like Peter Storey, Dave Mackay or Tommy Smith. Football is like a non-contact sport now.”
a) Norman Hunter; b) Nobby Stiles; c) Ron “Chopper” Harris.
14. “If these racist chants are not cut out it will get to the stage where a player walks off and refuses to play.”
a) Kieron Dyer; b) Rio Ferdinand; c) Ashley Cole
15. “Because of the excitement I generate and because of my performances and my all-action attacking style, I think I could fight Mickey Mouse and the place would be sold out.”
a) Audley Harrison; b) Ricky Hatton; c) Danny Williams
2003
16. “My career is stuttering. I am just waiting for the wheels to fall off.”
a) Damon Hill; b) Jonathan Edwards; c) Alec Stewart17. “I’m an actress, I’m a model and I’m an athlete. I put athlete third on my list.”
a) Katarina Witt; b) Serena Williams; c) Carolina Kluft
18. “I was in awe sitting there watching Ronnie score his 147. When he plays like that, he is God.”
a) Alan McManus; b) Peter Ebdon; c) Ken Doherty19. “I went to the bank when I got home after we won the World Cup, and I got a standing ovation!”
a) Jason Leonard; b) Martin Johnson; c) Jonny Wilkinson20. “It’s over, forget about it, it’s gone. We’ve enjoyed the ride, brilliant. We’ve paid the money, got the ride, got off the tramcar – let’s go again.”
a) Steve McLaren; b) Bobby Robson; c) Kevin Keegan
2004
21. “I threw the kitchen sink at Federer, but he went to the bathroom and threw the tub at me!”
a) Andy Roddick; b) Mark Phillipoussis; c) Lleyton Hewitt
22. “If I were English, what formation would I play? If I were English, I’d top myself.”
a) John Toshack; b) Gordon Strachan; c) Eamonn Dunphy
23. “Right now, everything is going wrong for me – if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I’d come out sucking my thumb!”
a) Clive Woodward; b) Darren Gough; c) Ian Holloway
24. “Anybody who is thinking of applying for the Scotland job in the next eight or nine years should go and get themselves checked out by about 15 psychiatrists.”
a) Alan Hansen; b) Martin O’Neill; c) Ron Atkinson
25. “I had to watch the screen and then someone shouted that I had won. I just couldn’t believe it.”
a) Kelly Holmes; b) Chris Hoy; c) Ben Ainslie
2005
26. Thierry Henry has been absolutely magical and I love the way he plays the game and expresses himself. He is like Merlin the Magician and Dr Who rolled into one.
a) Graham Taylor; b) Gordon Taylor; c) Peter Taylor27. “I have not come to Sheffield to look at the gardens near the hotel. If I didn’t think I could win the world title I would go and play golf badly in Spain.”
a) Jimmy White; b) Steve Davis; c) Ronnie O’Sullivan
28. “I stand by my prediction that Australia will win the Ashes series 5-0.”
a) Matthew Hayden; b) Shane Warne; c) Glenn McGrath29. “I’m a golfer, not an athlete.”
a) Colin Montgomerie; b) Lee Westwood; c) Phillip Price30. “Wenger speaks so much about us that I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, they have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. We never talk about Arsenal.”
a) Alex Ferguson; b) Rafael Benitez; c) Jose Mourinho
2006
31. “England did nothing in the World Cup, so why are they bringing books out? ‘We got beat in the quarter-finals, we played like shit, here’s my book’. Who wants to read that? I don’t.”
a) Joey Barton; b) Robbie Savage; c) Lee Bowyer
32. “I hear Peter Ebdon swims a mile every day. That means that in a year he could be 365 miles away. That is the best that we can hope for.”
a) Willie Thorne; b) John Virgo; c) Barry Hearn
33. “Will Andrew Strauss have a pull or will he put it away for a while?”
a) Nasser Hussein; b) David Lloyd; c) Ian Botham
34. “If we’re not careful ” with this sort of refereeing ” we will be playing in high heels and skirts and playing netball. It’s so frustrating.”
a) Neil Warnock; b) Steve Bruce; c) Stuart Pearce
35. “It’s been harder this year, Liverpool have got better, Man U have got better, Arsenal have got better, and Tottenham have joined the quartet of five teams.”
a) Frank Lampard; b) John Terry; c) Joe Cole
2007
36. “I find this accusation so horrendous, so monstrous, that I have decided to confront it head-on by talking to the Press. I am frustrated and angry. I believe that I am absolutely, 100 per cent innocent. I assure you: I have never taken drugs.”
a) Andre Agassi; b) Jennifer Capriati; c) Martina Hingis37. “Head coach of the England team demands management skills that Brian Ashton does not have. Somehow we’d managed to turn our World Cup campaign into a Monty Python sketch – called The Life of Brian.”
a) Lawrence Dallaglio; b) Mike Catt; c) Jason Robinson38. “It’s nice to be recognised for actually achieving something in life as opposed to spending seven weeks on TV in the Big Brother house with a load of other muppets.”
a) Lewis Hamilton; b) Andy Murray; c) Bradley Wiggins39. “I sat there in that hut and I was as disciplined as I could be with my focus not to brood or not to, you know, ifs and whats or buts or if I had done that. I never let it cross my mind that I’d just thrown away the Open.”
a) Luke Donald; b) Padraig Harrington; c) Justin Rose40. “You have to win every game and have nothing in your private life and you are hopefully not earning too much money. If you have all that, you can possibly do the job of managing England.”
a) Sven Goran Eriksson; b) Glenn Hoddle; c) Steve McClaren
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2008
41. “I just blew my mind, and blew the world’s mind.”
a) Michael Phelps; b) Roger Mayweather; c) Usain Bolt
42. “You expect the crowd to be supportive but I’ve been abused from start to finish. There is a difference between supporting your side and abusing the opponents. It’s been shameful really.”
a) Lee Westwood; b) Paul Casey; c) Ian Poulter
43. “I’ve created a monster so I know I need to always win every tournament. It’s not easy coming out every week trying to win.”
a) Tiger Woods; b) Roger Federer; c) Phil Taylor
44. “I know the media all love me. They must care about me because they’re always asking me if I’m going to stay or go.”
a) Avram Grant; b) Mick McCarthy; c) Joe Kinnear
45. “I don’t really care what people think or say, they can say what they like. I have come here and got what I wanted and I’m happy.”
a) Victoria Pendleton; b) Shirley Robertson; c) Christine Ohuruogu
2009
46. “I really feel sorry for Elin since me and my wife were responsible for hooking her up with him. We probably thought he was a better guy than he is. I probably would have to apologise to her and hope she uses a driver next time rather than a 3-iron.”
a) Jesper Parnevik; b) Henrik Stenson; c) Anders Forsbrand47. “During the warming-up before play I prayed. Not for victory, but that my hairpiece wouldn’t fall off.”
a) Eric Cantona; b) Brian Moore; c) Andre Agassi48. “I keep saying a pat on the back is only six inches from a kick up the backside.”
a) Mark Hughes; b) Paul Hart; c) Sam Allardyce49. “I’m just bitterly hurt and disappointed that my character’s been assassinated because I know I’m not a bad bloke.”
a) Nelson Piquet Jnr.; b) Kevin Pietersen; c) Tiger Woods50. “I’ve not had a phone call yet from the Prime Minister. Jenson Button got one, but I haven’t. I’m clearly not important enough.”
a) Beth Tweddle; b) Phillips Idowu; c) Tom Daley
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